Don't burn bridges
A short post today.
I'm in the middle of a conversation with two young coaches asking me advice on what their next steps should be. One is currently leaving a program for another job offer, and the other is sitting on two job offers.
My piece of advice to them is to not burn bridges. Yes, I did make that post that had other pieces of advice, but in this case given their current situations, I advised them not to burn bridges. Regardless of how things ended, shake hands, say the right things, vent to your trusted friends, but go about your business like a professional. If you're going to coach, then you need to develop a thick skin.
Oddly enough this is a debate that I've been having with another coaching associate who has much more experience than I do. This job plays with your emotions or it can if you allow it. I've been accused of being too impassive, probably an honest accusation, but I've found that if I allow my emotions to show too much, then I'm more likely to swing wildly.
Something we discussed in grad school was that at some point, we'd be fired or asked to resign. Sometimes it would happen more than once and you have to be prepared for it. Sometimes it's fair, sometimes it's not, and sometimes we feel as though it's not. Sometimes there are politics behind it, and sometimes it's our perspective against theirs. Regardless, when it happens to you, you don't burn bridges.
It's happened to me. There was a program I was at that I loved. I loved coaching there, I loved the board and the community. It wasn't a forever stop, but I could have been there a few more years. However, a new director came in and wanted to bring in their own staff so we all had to reapply for our jobs, and mine wasn't offered. That hurt deeply, but I shook their hand, informed the athletes and backed their decision and left. That wasn't what I wanted to do. Inside I wanted to tear things up, and flip over tables but instead I went out for an expensive dinner, and then got busy applying to other jobs. Even now that still stings but I'm glad I went out the way I did rather than engaging in flipping tables.
You simply can't do it. Don't burn bridges. Allow the maturity to come through, and understand that personal or not - and chances are that you're making it personal rather than them - it happens to everyone.
I'm in the middle of a conversation with two young coaches asking me advice on what their next steps should be. One is currently leaving a program for another job offer, and the other is sitting on two job offers.
My piece of advice to them is to not burn bridges. Yes, I did make that post that had other pieces of advice, but in this case given their current situations, I advised them not to burn bridges. Regardless of how things ended, shake hands, say the right things, vent to your trusted friends, but go about your business like a professional. If you're going to coach, then you need to develop a thick skin.
Oddly enough this is a debate that I've been having with another coaching associate who has much more experience than I do. This job plays with your emotions or it can if you allow it. I've been accused of being too impassive, probably an honest accusation, but I've found that if I allow my emotions to show too much, then I'm more likely to swing wildly.
Something we discussed in grad school was that at some point, we'd be fired or asked to resign. Sometimes it would happen more than once and you have to be prepared for it. Sometimes it's fair, sometimes it's not, and sometimes we feel as though it's not. Sometimes there are politics behind it, and sometimes it's our perspective against theirs. Regardless, when it happens to you, you don't burn bridges.
It's happened to me. There was a program I was at that I loved. I loved coaching there, I loved the board and the community. It wasn't a forever stop, but I could have been there a few more years. However, a new director came in and wanted to bring in their own staff so we all had to reapply for our jobs, and mine wasn't offered. That hurt deeply, but I shook their hand, informed the athletes and backed their decision and left. That wasn't what I wanted to do. Inside I wanted to tear things up, and flip over tables but instead I went out for an expensive dinner, and then got busy applying to other jobs. Even now that still stings but I'm glad I went out the way I did rather than engaging in flipping tables.
You simply can't do it. Don't burn bridges. Allow the maturity to come through, and understand that personal or not - and chances are that you're making it personal rather than them - it happens to everyone.
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