How to Unpack

I've been sitting with this post for a few days and even now, a week later, I don't know how to move through this.

Florida was...disappointing. 

An eight. Well crafted. Dedicated athletes. Great coxswain. Dialed. Everything in the boat is there and screams that this is easily top 20 in the country and perhaps, if the gods break just right, top 16. A/B Semifinals.

Fastest women's eight for the program in the last 10 years.

27th. 

They had a spot in the C for a heartbeat and then.

Gone. 

Sorry. 

Next time. Next year. 

Row2K was there taking pictures. I loathe ending up in their galleries - I am there a few times in the last year, and no we won't share which races - and I'm glad to see that I wasn't there in the "scene" grouping. 

I'm sure the picture would have been amazing in some devastating sense. 

25th in the time trial. 1.5 out of the C final. 3rd in the D final. 

And you're not sure what to say because 20 years of coaching haven't given you the skills required to pull this one together. You've had great boats lose. Undefeated boats lose. Good boats win. Good boats hand you a trophy when you were going to be satisfied with a grand final finish and maybe a trip to the medal dock. 

This one is new. 

Talented boat. Incredibly talented. Hardworking. Attacked winter. Attacked spring. Most of the boat that showed promise in the fall especially in Philly. 

And now, months later. On a man made course, little to no wind, and favorable water temps, you watch it chug down the course, laboring. An all too familiar pattern unfolding. 

The speed shown at home? Not there. The confidence? Missing. Maybe, maybe they can go. And you realize far too early, or too late that no, they can't. 

What do you say when one of the most talented crews you've had the privilege of coaching falls short? 

Get them next year?

Almost?

Nice try?

You say a lot of things, and then you go back to your hotel and you stare at the laptop. Not the data because you know the data by heart. You stare at the videos, the conversation threads you've had with other coaches. You send clips to friends. 

What did I miss? 

And they say, nothing.

You didn't miss anything. 

Well you had to have because the eight that could drop a 1:36 over 1k at 34.5, a "bad, disconnected row" according to your senior, didn't execute in Florida. Under favorable conditions. 

There's a lot left to unpack. 

We're getting there. 

10 weeks till fall.