Hello Darkness My Old Friend...

 Hello readers...

...all...whatever. 

I feel as though this blog post should begin the way a confessional session would. It's been over three years since my last post. 

And a lot has happened since the last post, and this post. 

I've moved. Across the country. A part of me was yearning for what the east coast offered. Many coaching friends suggested I give the east coast a try and see what it's like. 

So I came. I saw. I'm missing the west coast. 

There's nothing wrong with how things operate on the east coast. Frankly, much of what I've seen mirrors west coast programs both in the positive and the negative. And given my desire to return west, it would be far too easy to list the negative. 

The biggest question: Do I regret making the move from the friendly confines of the west coast to what I've found here?

No, however, I do wish I'd taken some time to sift through the motivations to move and try a change. The simplest explanation was that I moved without much of a goal in mind. That's quite unlike me, and that has led to a feeling of being a bit...lost isn't fair to the east coast, but unsure. 

What I felt I needed was a change of scenery which is why when jobs opened back east, I jumped. 

What I needed was to reevaluate my goals and priorities, specifically, I needed to set more goals. 

I've long said - going on nine years now - that I accomplished all of my goals I began with by 2016. I coached a national championship winning boat. I worked with the national team. I had my advanced degree. I'd been the promised land that is DI rowing. I'd helped an athlete make a national team - U23 Para. 

I'd done it all, and more. 

But instead of figuring out what the next steps were, I stayed in limbo. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do next, and then I wouldn't decide. And then I felt that a move might be necessary, but unlike when I was 22 out of college, this was done at 42 and needed more than a spin the compass and see what happens. 

I landed at a collegiate program that had some promise. My first true head coach position at a collegiate program where I wasn't sharing the title and had full control. 

Then the NCAA decided to kill DII rowing.

And then the administration pulled back all the promises they'd made when I was interviewing: A full-time assistant coach, 5 to 7 full scholarships, more resources, etc. And there went that. 

Frankly, whether the school gave me the resources or not, it wasn't going to work with the NCAA doing away with DII rowing. While the transfer portal is alive and well, and the NCAA now allows for a one time transfer with no strings attached - sit out a season - ending DII rowing meant athletes had no interest in "building" somewhere they knew was already dead. And our recruiting efforts, thanks in large part to the assistant coach, were spectacular, ultimately we struggled to sign classes. 

The good news: My recruiting idea worked. The plan to build a program in a different way worked. And having an assistant who could take that general idea and flesh it out with ideas of their own, worked. 

Currently I am the head coach for a junior women's program. I took the job with a bit of trepidation. I've only ever coached junior women during the summer, and never in a competitive capacity. I had a lot of stereotypes running through my thoughts as I interviewed, but ultimately, of the jobs offered, this one had everything I was looking for, and needed after that bitter taste of the last two years. 

And now, roughly three months into the job, I truly enjoy it. The athletes are similar to the junior boys I've coached: They're absolute dorks - and I say that as a term of endearment - and share similar struggles and setbacks and victories. 

We've had quite the fall with ups and downs, all to be expected when you take over. It's exciting and new, but it's also challenging and new. Currently, I'm not certain the team has fully embraced that I'm not the old coach. Physically they see that, but there's a lot of, "But this is what we used to do..." in the way. That'll take some cleaning up. It's nothing against the previous coach and how she ran the program. This is just how I run it, and it's different. 

Quick fall recap. 

The equipment here has stretched my mind for the good and learning. The equipment comes across that the program used to be a lightweight program and we'll need to invest in getting bigger shells which is going to cost money and take time. Right now the primary driver is to get a new eight for the women. 

I've also requested that we ditch 50 percent of the oars. I've never been a Croker fan, I'm not sold on their rigging numbers, and frankly, I don't see the increased cost being beneficial over C2 blades. That said, I'd like to get rid of the C2 Comps we have. I find the Comp blade to be a gimmick, similar to the Fat2 blade: It's a poor design, not understood by the manufacturer, and it's difficult to use. 

The one good thing about the Crokers is that they're heavy - even the new M49/Arrow set up we have - and they've taught the athletes how to be more aggressive with the Comp blades which are light. 

The 1V placed well at the Charles, finishing 20th out of 86 boats after starting 27th, a women's program best. And then followed that up with the best race of the fall, an ultra aggressive spin at the Schuylkill rating 35.5 the entire time and finishing 10th out of 47 with a spare who stepped up big time, another program best. 

So we head into winter fresh off of those results. 

I used to hate winter. I just wanted to get to spring. Now I love winter because of what it offers. Practice begins in a little over a week. Let's get it started.

Again.