Bullying
Even if you're not a sports fan, I'm sure you've seen the news coming out of Miami about locker room bullying between Richie Incognito and Johnathan Martin.
I am not going to pass judgement on what happened in the locker room or between the two players. That is for experts, and those who are in the know to deal with. Having jumped into the coaching role, I'm constantly reminded that what seems slam dunk on the outside isn't always so once you cross that line. What the public knows and thinks it knows vary from what is actually known.
I've dealt with this three times, twice directly, and once indirectly. All three incidents varied from the others, one being a serious problem to one being a case where an athlete with their heart in the right spot, stepped out of line.
I don't need to dive into my own experience here, but I will address one of them as the basis for where I stand.
My first time dealing with this was when I was an assistant coach. There'd been back and forth between the varsity and the novice, and by the time it reached the coaching staff, it was getting heated. The varsity coach pulled the varsity aside and gave them a severe tongue lashing, outlining the program goals, the potential for the season, and ended it by saying that it was the last time we would deal with this for the rest of the year. There would be no initiation regardless of it being a "tradition," and anyone who broke this rule would be booted unceremoniously from the team. That was the end of it, and the team, both novice and varsity went on to have highly successful seasons.
I'll first say that I don't see the difference between hazing and bullying. Despite what we may or may not know or like, there is always some sort of initiation process within sports teams. The new guys and gals being integrated with the established veterans. I know that we who have gone through it on both sides claim that it's all in good fun, and in some cases, I'm sure it is. Who doesn't love an all you can eat pancake feed after a 2 hour practice in 38 degree weather at 5 am? Unfortunately, it's a slippery slope, and what's good fun on one hand can easily become terrible things.
I don't like initiation of any sort for that simple reason. I find that it's easier just to say no, and monitor it rather than trying to define limits and bylaws. In this day and age, it's very easy to make the jump from, "initiation over a buffet of pancakes," to "hazing, partying, punishment, etc." If you've allowed one, then more than likely it will be assumed that you allow all. And hey, if no one complains, or is pushed into the group mentality of everyone is doing this and has gone through this, then it falls through the cracks. Now you've got a serious problem on your hand. Maybe I'm missing the forest for the trees, but I tend to think that in rowing, camaraderie is best formed when everyone is pushing hard in the boat, everyone is dealing with a grueling practice or series of pieces. Brotherhood or sisterhood is found in blisters, track bites, the gutted feeling of losing, to the euphoria of winning. This sport is difficult enough; there's no reason to make it any more so.
The bottom line here for me is that bullying doesn't know an age limit. Bullying isn't symptomatic of grade school or high school. There's never an age that you may not encounter a bully, and it seems that the older you get, the worse it can be. The accusations of "a real adult wouldn't stand for this" fail to take into account that a real adult would never stoop to bullying anyone. Period.
I am not going to pass judgement on what happened in the locker room or between the two players. That is for experts, and those who are in the know to deal with. Having jumped into the coaching role, I'm constantly reminded that what seems slam dunk on the outside isn't always so once you cross that line. What the public knows and thinks it knows vary from what is actually known.
I've dealt with this three times, twice directly, and once indirectly. All three incidents varied from the others, one being a serious problem to one being a case where an athlete with their heart in the right spot, stepped out of line.
I don't need to dive into my own experience here, but I will address one of them as the basis for where I stand.
My first time dealing with this was when I was an assistant coach. There'd been back and forth between the varsity and the novice, and by the time it reached the coaching staff, it was getting heated. The varsity coach pulled the varsity aside and gave them a severe tongue lashing, outlining the program goals, the potential for the season, and ended it by saying that it was the last time we would deal with this for the rest of the year. There would be no initiation regardless of it being a "tradition," and anyone who broke this rule would be booted unceremoniously from the team. That was the end of it, and the team, both novice and varsity went on to have highly successful seasons.
I'll first say that I don't see the difference between hazing and bullying. Despite what we may or may not know or like, there is always some sort of initiation process within sports teams. The new guys and gals being integrated with the established veterans. I know that we who have gone through it on both sides claim that it's all in good fun, and in some cases, I'm sure it is. Who doesn't love an all you can eat pancake feed after a 2 hour practice in 38 degree weather at 5 am? Unfortunately, it's a slippery slope, and what's good fun on one hand can easily become terrible things.
I don't like initiation of any sort for that simple reason. I find that it's easier just to say no, and monitor it rather than trying to define limits and bylaws. In this day and age, it's very easy to make the jump from, "initiation over a buffet of pancakes," to "hazing, partying, punishment, etc." If you've allowed one, then more than likely it will be assumed that you allow all. And hey, if no one complains, or is pushed into the group mentality of everyone is doing this and has gone through this, then it falls through the cracks. Now you've got a serious problem on your hand. Maybe I'm missing the forest for the trees, but I tend to think that in rowing, camaraderie is best formed when everyone is pushing hard in the boat, everyone is dealing with a grueling practice or series of pieces. Brotherhood or sisterhood is found in blisters, track bites, the gutted feeling of losing, to the euphoria of winning. This sport is difficult enough; there's no reason to make it any more so.
The bottom line here for me is that bullying doesn't know an age limit. Bullying isn't symptomatic of grade school or high school. There's never an age that you may not encounter a bully, and it seems that the older you get, the worse it can be. The accusations of "a real adult wouldn't stand for this" fail to take into account that a real adult would never stoop to bullying anyone. Period.
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